I’ll Be Watching You
by Sting


Victims are women, but also children in the home and men.


1. Half of all women will experience some form of violence from their spouse during marriage.

2. In the USA, about 25% of all murders involve family members.

3. More than 4 million American women are beaten annually by current and former male partners, according to the National Woman’s Abuse Prevention Center.

4. On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.

5. According to former U.S Surgeon, General C. Everett Koop, domestic violence is the number one health problem for American women. Causing more injuries then automobile accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

6. It has been well documented that men who physically harm their partners also hit their children.

7. In the USA a woman is domestically violated every 7 seconds.

8. In the USA 31% of women are victims of domestic violence

9. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or
otherwise abused during her lifetime.

10. 33% of female homicides were victims of domestic violence.

11. 20% of female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.

12. One out of fourteen men has been physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabitation partner, boyfriend/girlfriend or date at some point in their lives.

13. 16% of adult men who reported being raped and/or physically assaulted were assaulted by an intimate partner.

14. 94% of the perpetrators of sexual abuse against boys are men.

15. A man is domestically violated every 28 seconds.

16. 5.5% of male homicides victims were murdered by a spouse, ex-spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.


1. Although there are cases in which a women have assaulted their spouses, men commit 95% of all assaults against spouses or ex-spouses, according to a recent National Crime Survey.

2. Using data gathered by the FBI, Professor Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, found that 43% of women who are murdered are killed by another family member, most often their husbands.

3. Each year, more then one million women seek medical help for injuries caused by battering.

4. In 1992 the American Medical Association recommended that doctors should routinely screen their female patients for signs of domestic violence because it had become so common. Doctors should be aware that domestic violence may present itself not only in the form of physical injury, but in chronic pain, gynecological disturbances, or sleep and appetite disorders.


According to activists who have survived battering, legal specialists and advocates, and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence battering is a pattern though fear and intimidation. It often includes the threat or the use of violence. It occurs when the batterers believe they are entitled to control their partners. Not all battering is physical. It can include a whole spectrum of behavior used to establish and maintain power, including economic abuse, sexual abuse, threats, intimidation, isolation, and exploitation of children. Whether physical or not, battering usually escalates. It may begin with threats and violent actions such as kicking a pet or smashing furniture, and then escalate to punching, sexual assault, beating, and then proceed to life threatening actions, such as breaking bones, choking and brandishing weapons.
   Some common statements made by male perpetrators of domestic violence are:

  • “If you hadn’t made me mad I wouldn’t have hit you.”
  • “You’ll never find someone to love you the way I love you.”
  • “It is all your fault.”


There are different types of domestic abuse, including emotional, physical, sexual, and economic abuse. Many abusers behave in ways that include more than one type of domestic abuse, and the boundaries between some of these behaviors may overlap.

Emotional or psychological abuse  

Emotional or psychological abuse can be verbal or nonverbal. Its aim is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship, or that without your abusive partner you have nothing. Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so. Furthermore, emotional abuse usually worsens over time, often escalating to physical battery.

Physical abuse

When people talk about domestic violence, they are often referring to the physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner. Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone in a way that injures or endangers that person. There’s a broad range of behaviors that come under the heading of physical abuse, including hitting, grabbing, choking, throwing things, and assault with a weapon.

Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family. The police have the power and authority to protect you from physical attack.

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is common in abusive relationships. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, between one-third and one-half of all battered women are raped by their partners at least once during their relationship. Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. Furthermore, women whose partners abuse them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed.

Economic or financial abuse

Remember, an abuser’s goal is to control you, and he will frequently hurt you to do that. In addition to hurting you emotionally and physically, an abusive partner may also hurt you in the pocketbook. Economic of financial abuse includes:

  • Controlling the finances.
  • Withholding money or credit cards.
  • Giving you an allowance.
  • Making you account for every penny you spend.
  • Stealing from you or taking your money.
  • Exploiting your assets for personal gain.
  • Withholding basic necessities (food, clothes, medications, shelter).
  • Preventing you from working or choosing your own career.
  • Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, calling constantly)


Clues to the possible development of violence can be found in the affirmative answers to these questions:

1. Did your partner grow up in a violent family?

2. Does your partner have nasty temper and does he overreact to small problems and the usual frustrations of daily life such as being deprived of a parking space or constantly getting a busy signal when trying to make an important call?

3. Does your partner have low self esteem?

4. Are there frequent examples of cruelty to animals?

5. Does your partner have rigid old fashioned ideas about the place of women in the family and does his role as undisputed dictator of the family’s way of life?

6. Are you and all women regarded as second class citizens who should know their place?

7. Does your partner want to know where you are and with whom at all times? Are you given any free time that is entirely your own?

8. Does your partner constantly talk about “getting even” with others and play with weapons as a way of showing off?

9. Does your partner show signs of rage if you cant figure out what is wanted or expected of you?

10. Does your partner alternate between kindness and cruelty in an unpredictable way?

11. Did you partner “rough you up” during dating or when you were living together? If he did, don’t assume you’ll be able to change abusive behavior when you’re married.


This Women Against Domestic Violence site is owned by “A Circle of Light”

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